On the Mind

He stood there at the edge of the bridge looking at the rushing water underneath him. The water, roaring past him, frantically raced the wind, as it forced him against the railing behind him. His torn shoes were tippy-toed on the small spacing between metal and open air.

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“Don’t do it!”

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 “Hurry up”

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“It’s not worth it!”

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“Do a flip!”

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The crowd bickered and yelled at him, telling him this-and-that, but as he looked back at them, no one truly seemed to care. All he saw were angered faces distantly bordered around him. Every phone pulled out. Every person shouting. No one listening.

 

But he listened.

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He could hear a child vigorously crying, reminding him of his own sorrowful past. Car horns wailing, reminding him of his ex-wife, Lola. The rustling of shoes on the unmoving pavement, reminding him of his struggle to keep her from dying that night. It was too much for him. The thunderous shouting, the lightning camera flashes, the water descending from his eyes, the memories clouding his heart. It was too much.

 

Silently, he started to weep. His head turned back towards the rushing water underneath him, then his fingers began to move towards his face. One by one, he wiped more tears away from his eyes, finally freeing one hand, and the crowd grew louder with every wipe.

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“It’s not worth it!”

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How can he think about doing something like this? A bystander thought. What am I talking about? I hate my job. My wife is taking me to divorce court tomorrow. That man is brave! I should be up there with him! No, no, no, I can’t do that. Am I afraid? Is that man brave for doing this? Why isn’t anybody doing anything? Why am I not doing anything? Should I do something? I mean granted, I don’t have to. Wait, let’s see if anybody else does something first. Then I’ll back them up and still get credit for helping. Okay good plan, now who looks like they are about to help?

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“Don’t let go!”

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Just let go man! I would! You think things are going to get easier after this? If you survive this, the world is going to pester you with interviews and questions about your decisions. If I got this far, I’d just do it! Screw the world. But, then again you would think there would be at least one person in this crowd that would try to talk him down. Why isn’t anybody else doing anything? Maybe I should. I’m a pretty reasonable person. Plus, if this goes on for another minute or two, I’m gonna jump myself.

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“Somebody do something!”

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Should I do something? Is he really going to jump? Who is he? Why isn’t anybody moving? Is this world really this cruel? Why aren’t my legs moving? I want to help, but what if I fail, and he still jumps?

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The crowds aimless yelling became louder and louder. No one moved any closer to the man about to jump, but advice was bouncing from the mouths of the retreating. Only five minutes had gone by since he climbed over the railing, but the crowd’s constant bawling started to dissipate in compassion.

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“Hurry Up! I’m late for work!”

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Who does this guy think he is? Attention Hog! Did you really have to pick the busiest bridge to do this on? All I ever do is work. Work. Work. Work. Go home, eat, sleep, work. Use the bathroom, work. Christmas party, Work! Doctor’s appointment, WORK! And now, I’m late for work! I swear if I lose this job. . .

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“Let him jump!”

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You know if he jumps, I can call in work and get some days off. I’ll just tell them that I’m traumatized from the sight and need a few days to clear my head. Process it! Yeah! That’s such a good idea! I’m the greatest.

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“Let’s Go!”

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Wow! The one day I get work off early and this is what happens. Uhh! Oh well at least I’ve got some entertainment. Stupid Suicider! I bet you his life isn’t worse than mine! I have to meet with people every day that hate their own lives but isn’t stupid enough to do this. . . Hell! I’m not stupid enough to do this! He’s just weak! How about you suck it up, drink coffee, and talk about your boss behind their back like a normal person. Idiot!

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Sirens echoed in the distance as the crowds’ cries fluctuated, becoming both louder and calmer. Some returned to their cars and others got out of them to see the one over the railing. But still no one stepped any closer than before. Feet shuffled left and right, and even some of the crowd pushed from behind and chuckled from the small joke. From the young, social media became their first priority and for the old, the eyes of other became theirs. After the seventh minute went past an ambulance appeared on the other side of the bridge accompanied by three police cars.

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“Everybody step back! Get back,” a cop with dark hair and glasses spoke through a mega phone. “Sir, can you hear me. If you can, please nod your head!”

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The man over the railing nodded his head.

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“Good. Now, sir can you tell me your name!”

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The man over the railing looked back to see the dark-haired officer then looked at his glasses. They were pitch black. He couldn’t see through those deceiving sun blockers on his face. So, he turned his head back around and nodded ‘No’.

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“Sir, I am only trying to help you! If you could just step back over the railing, we can get you some help,” the dark-haired man spoke. Truly the dark-haired man was only trying to help the man over the railing, however, even though his body was there on site, his mind was elsewhere.

 

Why isn’t he responding? Why did I get called to do this? All I wanted to do was be a part of the CIA, but no. I get this. A guy about to kill himself. Why didn’t I just take that fire fighter job when I had the chance? I could’ve been in the heat of the moment! Ha! Heat. That was a good one. Maybe I could be a comedian instead, I got some pretty good jokes. The guys and I can start at that place by the strip club. We’ll be called 1-of-3 laughs. Because there’s three of us! Actually, that makes no sense. I’ll think of something later. “Sir, I am trying to help you! Can you please tell me your name?”

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At the tenth minute, the man over the railing didn’t respond. In fact, he continued to wipe his tears away with his freed hand, then begun to slowly release his other hand from the railing, until the wind cradled him in its arms.

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He’s gonna do it.

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Suddenly, every person from the crowd darted towards him. All people of all ages ran towards the man over the railing to save his life. People jumped out of their cars, popped out of their flip flops, and even leapt over the railing themselves, held by another person. Three people were dangled well over the rail and were roped down the side of the bridge like an untied shoe string flowing with the breeze. The dark-haired officer tightly held onto a woman in-front of him, viscously pulling back.

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“Pull!”

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The crowd of people yanked towards the center of the bridge, slowly pulling the individuals back over the railing. One by one all of the people were back over, collapsing to the ground, heaving for air.

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Oh man! I thought we were gonna lose him!

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Wow! I can’t believe I jumped in on that one! What was I thinking?

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Who do I think I am? Spiderman? Dangling over the rail to save that idiot.

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Noise grew silent for a moment on that bridge. Silent enough to hear a man weeping by the rail.

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“Are you okay?” Someone asked, looking at the tears disappear on the concrete.

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“I didn’t get him. . .” the man replied, crying harder than before as the people in the crowd frantically looked around for the man that was over the railing. The dark-haired officer stood to his feet then ran to the rail and saw nothing but the light blue and white rushing of water.

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“You. Didn’t. Get him,” the dark-haired officer stated, taking off his glasses.

 

His eyes stared at the rushing water and resembled it. His stance became stiff and his gaze was hardened. The violent wind pushed the officer away from the railing and the officer stumbled back in aww. Speechless of presence, his thoughts were emptied. As so all of the people of the crowd. The wind blew the clouds across the sky and the sun hid behind them.

 

 The sirens continued to wail and the cars in the distance honked violently at the motionless traffic. 

 

No one sneezed of allergies or asked for a tissue, yet the salted rain did fall from every eye of that storm.

 

The bridge has never been so still.